Stay High
by WinchesterGal2015
Summary: (After season 9 - sort of spoilers) Dean is a demon, and Sam is having trouble dealing. Sam turns to drugs to suppress his urge to be with his brother again, the way they use to be. But Dean has a problem with the way he is dealing. !WINCEST! (I don't own supernatural)


**Stay High**

_::: I eat my dinner in my bathtub,_

_Then I go to sex clubs,_

_Watching freaky people getting it on :::_

Sam is sitting at the table scarfing down the lunch his brother, if he could still call him that, cooked for him. "Whoa Sammy slow down you'll choke." Dean said "Why are you in such a rush anyways?"

"Don't call me that." Sam grumbled getting up from the table. He slid his jacket on quickly and headed for the door.

_::: It doesn't make me nervous,_

_If anything, I'm restless,_

_Yeah, I've been around and I've seen it all. :::_

"Why are you in such a bad mood, huh?" Dean asks. Sam turns to answer him, and when he does he finds himself staring at black eyes. Sam shutters, unable to find his voice, he reaches for the door knob. "Is it because we haven't had sex in a while?" Dean said smirking as he saw his brother stiffen up. "Ya know, Sammy you don't have to keep trying to hide your feelings. I'm still your brother. I can read you like the back of my hand, I know you want me." Dean smirks as Sam turns flashing his eyes black just to torture his little brother. Sam quickly turns back and runs out the door.

_::: I get home, I got the munchies,_

_Binge on all my Twinkies,_

_Throw up on the tub :::_

Sam returns at about 11 o'clock. Dean opens the door for him and can smell the alcohol on his breath. "Sam stop avoiding this. You know you want it!" Dean yelled as his brother ran past him. Sam ran to the bathroom locking the door behind him he gets into the tub, but he doesn't bathe. He just sits there crying, and soon he feels himself barfing up all the drinks he's had that night. He knows he's throwing up all over himself, but he can't bring himself to care. After what happened to Dean, he can hardly bring himself to care about anything anymore. The only thing keeping him going is that one day, the old Dean might come back to him. That somehow Cas'll find a way to help his brother, since the curing method he had used for the trails didn't work on nights of hell.

_::: Then I go to sleep_

_And I drank up all my money_

_Tasted kinda lonely. ::: _

When Sam wakes up he decides to strip out of all his clothes, clean out the tub, and actually take a shower. When he is finished he heads back to his room, nothing is wrapped around him and he's soaking wet. The wooden floor is cold making him shiver as he walks to his room. He dries off and puts on some clothes, deciding to go to a bar. Normally, Sam wouldn't drink or act like this, but he can't help himself. How can he when every time he looks at Dean he sees his brother, the man he loves, but then deep down he knows that man no longer exists. That man is now a demon.

_::: You're gone and I gotta stay,_

_High, all the time,_

_To keep you off my mind :::_

When Sam comes back this time at around 3 o'clock, he doesn't come back empty handed. He's pretty drunk, but he also has a suit case with him. He tries to sneak pass Dean and go to his room, but the demon notices him. "You're back, finally!" Dean says and when he turns, he eyes the black suit case. "What's in there?" Dean asks going over to Sam.

"N-nothing," Sam says trying to focus hard, so the two extra Deans will go away.

"Aw, c'mon Sammy. You've been giving me the cold shoulder, ever since I came back." Dean said grabbing Sam's hands and trapping them above his head. "I know you want me, Sam, just give into it." Dean said leaning into Sam's neck and licking a trail up to his ear.

"P-please .. Dean .. stop." Sam breathes. Dean lifts up and kisses Sam hard on the lips and begins to rub their dicks together. "Dean .. Please!" Sam whimpers wanting him to stop, before he ended up fucking something that wasn't his brother.

Dean sighs and moves back letting him go. "Still trying to resist, I don't know why you're making this so hard on yourself Sam. I'll break that wall you have up. It's going to happen, Sammy. One way or another.." Dean warned him.

Sam sighs a breath of relief. Dean picks up the suitcase and opens it with a snap of his fingers. His eyes widen. "Heroin.." He mumbles. "Sam, you can't take this. You'll get addicted for the rest of your life or until you overdose." Dean says, and for a second he actually sounds concerned, like the old Dean.

"Just give it back Dean." Sam says reaching for it.

"No, why are you going stronger anyways? Weed not enough for you?" Dean asks narrowing his eyes. Sam's eyes widen. He hadn't even known his brother - the demon, he mentally corrected himself, knew about that. That he'd turned to drugs. "You didn't think I'd smell it on you? Sam, your eyes turn green when you're high. How could I not notice?" Dean says.

"Just give it here Dean, I just want to forget!" Sam says reaching for the bag, the weed didn't make him forget, but the guy told him heroin would last longer and make him feel better. Dean shakes his head, and then walks off with the suitcase.

_::: High all the time,_

_To keep you off my mind,_

_Spend my days locked in a haze,_

_Tryna forget you, babe,_

_I fall back down :::_

Sam later on that day goes out and buys a ton of alcohol. When he gets back Dean is gone, probably on another trip with Crowley. Which was just code for killing spree, so that the mark of Cain would be satisfied. It was another reason Sam wouldn't let himself be with Dean. This was his chance. Sam snuck into Dean's room and grabbed the heroin suitcase replacing it with another suitcase with nothing in it. Then he went to his room and shot up on the drug, feeling instantly better.

_::: Gotta stay high all my life,_

_To forget I'm missing you... :::_

Unluckily for him Dean knocks on the door two minutes later. Sam just sits there though with a dopey smile on his face. Soon his brother gets impatient and just flings the door off it's hinges. "Sam, you home?" Dean yells. Sam doesn't answer. Dean goes into Sam's room and sees the syringe in his left hand. The smile still present on his face.

"Hey Dean," Sam greets.

Dean frowns his eyes flashing black. "I said no heroin." He snatches the needle from Sam and throws it away, eyes going back to normal.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I know I let you down again." Sam sighed letting his head lean against the wall. "I just wish I had you back. I miss you man." Sam says. A tear rolls down his cheek and then he starts to laugh. "I guess I really do act like a girl." Sam said wiping it away.

Dean growls in disgusts stomping out the room, and Sam can't put his finger on why he cares so much.

_::: Losing up the frown,_

_Make them feel alive,_

_Or make it fast and greasy,_

_I'm on my way to easy :::_

Sam starts taking the heroin regularly, and now Dean never sees him when he's not high but he's gotten use to it. Sam even starts bringing home girls just about every night. It annoys Dean to no end that he'd sleep with a slut before he slept with him, but he knew they were just substitutes, all of it was, the drugs, the alcohol, the women. All of it was substitutes for him. It always brought a smirk to his face though, when he heard Sam cum screaming his name as he came in some bitch. They would always get mad and storm out, but Sam never cared. He'd just shoot up again.

_::: Staying in my play pretend,_

_Where the fun it got no end :::_

Sam kept up these bad habits for a month before Dean decided enough was enough. He took all of Sam's heroin slowly getting him off the drug. Sam was pretty irritable during that time, but all Dean had to do was show his demon eyes and Sam would shut up. Sam did continue to smoke weed though getting high off it instead, pretty soon it was all he smelled like. Dean didn't like it, but he knew Sam had to cope someway. He wasn't so sure why he cared about Sam so much, other than for entertainment purposes. He usually would just add it up to him wanting to break Sam, though. Make Sam want him, after all that was the goal.

_::: Can't go home alone again,_

_Need someone to numb the pain.. :::_

But that day refused to come. Sam kept bring home sluts instead, and Dean decided to do something really drastic, after 3 weeks of still not getting laid. He took all of Sam's weed and alcohol. It left the younger brother in a wreck. He went back to his old self. The one that avoided him at all costs.

_::: You're gone and I gotta stay,_

_High all the time,_

_To keep you off my mind :::_

Eventually Sam couldn't take it anymore. "Dean please give it back." Sam begged. He needed to be high again, to be happy again.

"No," Dean said.

"Son of a bitch! Dean c'mon!" Sam yelled getting irritated.

"Or what?" Dean asked turning to face his brother with solid black eyes.

Sam shivered, but he refused to lose his resolve. "Or I'll .. I'll... exorcise you!" Sam yelled before he could stop himself.

Dean frowned instantly. He flicked his wrist and his brother flew into the wall stuck there. Dean walked up to him.

_::: Tryna forget you, babe,_

_I fall back down.. :::_

"Look at me Sam!" Dean yelled turning Sam's head to face him forcing him to look deep into his black soulless eyes. Sam closed his eyes and tears started to flow out of them. "I said look at me!" Dean yelled.

"Dean please.. stop." Sam cried; his eyes tightly closed.

"I thought you were going to exorcise me?" Dean asked still angry as hell.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I said that! I'm sorry I couldn't save you, Dean! I'm sorry I'm always constantly letting you down ... and I'm sorry for not being a better brother .. and I'm sorry for the drugs." Sam cried his head bowed to look at the floor. "I can't look at you like that Dean, because all I see in your eyes when I look at you is how bad I screwed up... and for that Dean I'm so sorry." Sam said softly.

"I-it's okay, Sammy." Dean said a little stunned his eyes going back to green. "I forgive you." Sam was still crying though and unable to look at his older brother. Dean softly tilted his head up and kissed him.

"Dean.." Sam mumbled softly, unable to tell his brother to stop. "I've missed you." Sam said feeling the force that held him to the wall disappear and he fell into Dean's arms.

"I've missed you too, Sammy." Dean said kissing the top of his brothers forehead.

"Man, you're starting to sound like you more and more.." Sam said sadly.

"I am me. Sam I maybe a demon, but I'm still me." Dean told him softly rubbing his back.

"Then why did you act that way before?" Sam asks, knowing he shouldn't believe this, but he does.

"I think I'm learning to get my demon side under control. I still need work, but I'm getting better, Sammy. I am." Dean assured him, pulling him closer.

Sam nodded. "You still want to be with me?" Dean smiled kissing him again.

"Yes." Dean replied, and once again they were back together.

_::: Alone again... :::_

_::: Numb the pain... :::_

_::: Fall back down... :::_

_::: Gotta Stay High... :::_

Maybe Dean wasn't so different Sam thought, but he didn't know how wrong he was. Dean still went out and killed people. He enjoyed it and sometimes would even bring them home to torture them for fun. The demon wasn't like his Dean at all, except for when it came down to Sam. But for Sam, that was close enough.

**(((Please remember to Review :D! Song is called habits! Just look up stay high though, if you want to listen to it. It's a pretty awesome song!)))**


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